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Writer's pictureMolly Mongulla

Your Words have the Power to Shape You and Others

Updated: Jan 4, 2021

Who are you? If I asked you that question, would you respond with your roles as mother, child, student, boss, wife? Or, would you tell me your profession as a teacher, public marketer, homemaker or accountant? That's not what I want to know, though. Who is your identity? What traits define you? How do you best communicate? What are your needs? What makes up your temperament and your personality?


I find our minds and psychology fascinating, which led me to complete a psychology study/bible study teaching me so much about myself and others involved in my life. It's entitled "Said Study(I Said This, You Heard That)" by Kathleen Edelman. Biblically, it's based on the scripture of Ephesians 4:29: "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Assessing our temperaments (Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholic or Phlegmatic), this study explores how our wiring affects what we say, how we listen and how others hear us. We are all wired by God with our unique temperaments that won't change during our lives. Our personalities may be influenced to differ throughout stages, but not our temperaments.

Part of growing our healthy well-being includes understanding our strengths and weaknesses. After completing my assessment, I discovered I am strongly a Melancholic. Some of my needs are: space, silence, order, perfection, and loyalty. My weaknesses include: spending too much time preparing, closing myself off to others (if I feel they don't understand me), and being sensitive. The way that I may perceive a situation, comment or statement could be completely misread. Emotionally, mentally and spiritually I have grown through this knowledge.

Connecting with others in healthy relationships is a human need. Communication really is key, and when we're not understood or we can't comprehend how someone else behaves, our relationships could suffer. I've learned what words my temperament needs and how to express myself if my needs aren't met. Identifying others temperaments allows me to choose my words carefully, pause before reacting, and positively communicate. This study has enlightened my awareness and understanding of my family especially. I have become a better parent and wife because of it. Now, I work with other's differences instead of fighting against them. All relationships will benefit from this highly recommended book!! Which temperament are you? Do you know your strengths? Are you aware of your weakness and how to work on them? I'd love to hear from you and your thoughts about temperaments.





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